…in the New York groove.
Or New Jersey groove, whatever.
…in the New York groove.
Or New Jersey groove, whatever.
One of the actions I find most humorous in the corporate world is reactions.
I am not a typical girly girl. I am absolutely NOT a morning person, and I would rather sleep an extra 45 minutes then wake up to put on a full face of makeup and get my hair into a perfect (or any type of) French twist.
So enter me: casual work attire; hair down or easily pulled back, glasses and a fresh face.
Also enter: dirty looks and snobby business women acting like I don’t exist.
What is this? Is that really their attitude or are they jealous of the fact that they aren’t in flats; but rather stockings riding up their butts and their feet jammed in six inch stilettos? I know I am passing just as much judgement on them as they are on me; but I just don’t understand what the obsession with the office look is.
Now I get it, I am just not that kind of girl. Nail polish repels from my fingernails and I sit like a dude at my work station. And I am also lucky enough to not work with any of these over-the-top, peering-right-over-your-head-like-you-are-invisible people. You know the type – the ones that literally prance around the locker room in their underwear, pretending not to but also praying they are making anyone jealous.
I’ve dealt with mean girls, I went to high school. I watch movies. I know too many big words that when I throw insults people don’t always know what I am saying to them. I have thick skin; I laugh in these ladies faces for thinking they are even slightly better than anyone else.
The ironic part of these types of people is they are a minority. Bitches will be bitches and they will never change. But they are also the people who get talked about behind their backs and ridiculed and called names. They get laughed at by the “minions” who are actually the ones who control their worlds.
So if you are really that insecure on the inside that you need to hide your exterior, then know this: I feel sorry for you. And believe it when I say that a simple gesture, mean or kind, really does go a long way.
Sometimes, I feel like I just need something comforting.
I don’t know if that means good news or a hot cup of tea; but just something to make me feel good.
Allergies in New Jersey and KILLER right now, and I cannot get myself together. This combined with a huge job interview today (Blue Eyes, not me) and a new office that I am still getting used to makes me feel two steps behind.
Not like with work: I take my job very seriously and always make myself a step ahead in that department, but it’s like I can feel a sinus infection coming on. One thing I preach is to make sure you really know your body and to treat it right, when you respect your body, it will respect you and at least give you warning that it is about to get sick. Thanks, bro.
So what is my body telling me?
Now, I am actually kind of a pro at sinus infections, which might be the worst claim in the world. They are actually awful, and you can’t think or sleep or breathe. People who have never had them don’t take them seriously, either. “Oh, come off it. You have a cold.” Yes – an infected cold with green snot and antibiotics. No biggie.
I got my tonsils taken out at age 19. Me and a room full of five-year-olds – me the only one not crying. Prior to getting those assholes taken out, I would get sinus infections about every four to six weeks from April to March. Yeah, so the whole year. This was high school and college too, folks – so there was no health-centric thinking going on. There were parties and no sleep (till Brooklyn), pizza and gluttony. That magical little (major, actually) surgery seven or so years ago was literally, like magic. I can count on two hands the amount of sinus infections I have had since then: one obligatory one a year (maybe two). And that time of year; is now! Fall freaking allergies.
So, Dr. Sheldon Cooper; I will take that hot beverage.
Living in the country has some advantages – open fields, fresh and clean air, farmers markets…but what some city folk don’t understand is the driving issues we sometimes encounter.
Have you even driven on an unpaved road? It’s not a delight that is for sure. I think people take evenly paved roads for granted – or even roads with wide shoulders. In the country we tend to not have much shoulder in the side of the road, and it ends with a treacherous ditch that you can easily be flipped into when some jackass in a Hummer comes whipping around a corner not paying an ounce of attention to where they are going or anyone else around them. They won’t notice you in said ditch, either.
Another dead giveaway of a good ol’ country road is farm equipment. Getting stuck behind farm equipment on a back road is one thing, but out in the country special exceptions are made so farm equipment is allowed on the main roads and to go through regular traffic lights. Yes, irregular traffic lights exist. By irregular, I mean the blinking kind – which used to be in my parent’s neighborhood, so the farm equipment could legally drive on main roads.
Farm equipment did become a handy excuse, though, say when you were running late for school and were not yet 18 and able to sign yourself in…no one could doubt you were trapped behind a hay bailer!
Another fantastic open country bit is the smells. Sometimes, you get the aromatic fresh onions; while other times you can smell fertilizer on a hot summer morning.
Was John Denver right in his assessment? I am not sure. I do know, however; that country roads do take me home.
Here is a kick to all you Dub V alumns:
For those of you who live in the tri-state (Jersey, New York and Connecticut) or frequent New York City (known to us locals as “the city”) very well know, EWR is a necessary evil.
Now, this is kind of a harsh statement to make, as EWR – Newark Liberty International Airport (heretofore known as “Newark”) is actually a grand airport. I had the joy last night of visiting said airport to pick my parents up from their Florida vacation.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where the onus is on you, someone will need you to give them a solid answer and things just won’t work out peachy-keen.
I don’t know at which point in your life this will happen, most likely it will start in your twenties when it feels like you are living in a middle child syndrome nightmare; everyone wants something from you or expects things.
That cannot always happen.
But you live through it all and you learn to just take the good with the good and the bad and whatever…
I say who cares and plaster that fake smile on your face and just go along with the winds and let them take you where they may.
Hot Old Men; brought to you by Buzzfeed.
Jimmy Kimmel’s Lie Witness News is one of the highlights of my week. People will say anything to seem “hip” and “cool” – even when it is 100% made up! I hope in the depths of my soul that Lie Witness News is real people just looking like complete idiots and not people in on the joke.
In respect for New York Fashion Week; Lie Witness News asks the great questions. Enjoy below 🙂