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I literally just asked my next door cube mate for a topic to write about – and he said “swimming pools”.

So here we go…

I actually have an adversity to lakes and lagoons. It all started when I was a wee child, at my aunt’s shore house (here in the Dirty we call it “The Shore”). She lived on a lagoon, and anyone who has been exposed to the Barnegat Bay lagoons knows that this is code for scary green head flies and an absolutely frightening body of murky water.

I must have been about five when the eels attacked – or snakes, we will never know for sure. Either way, I have been scarred for life. They didn’t hurt me physically, but boy did those little suckers ruin me mentally.

Remember that New Hampshire trip I just went on? Well, we were on a lake. A clean lake, one with soft sand. I. Was. Scared. Touching the bottom (not to mention the too loose bathing suit bottom I had on and a little fish swam into it) was like asking me to eat fire. NOT HAPPENING.

Blue Eyes literally laughed at me for a good five minutes while I clutched onto him like a little child. Legs wrapped around his and my arms squeezed around his waist as he attempted to maneuver around. He finally shook me off, and there I was, standing in the lake water. I could make out rocks and leaves and the little fish – but I wasn’t going to take this quietly. 

So now I am standing in this “soft sand” and I feel it – I don’t know what it was (the guys claim a leaf, I claim the Lockness Monster) and I must have jumped five feet through the water back onto Blue Eyes. I got an eye roll and a head shake and thrown back into the water.

Lake. Over.

Back safely on the dock with a can of Bud Light I go. A land faring lady, complete with dry clothes and no water creature bites.

The Swimming Pool is a place for a girl like me. Chlorinated and cemented – safe and temperature controlled.

But you know who doesn’t like a good old-fashioned swimming pool? My furry brown nephew, Haboo. His mama, Haboosma (check her out here for some photos), laughs every time this pooch gets near a pool. He is a chocolate lab and will jump into any lake or pond – but is totally freaked out by pools and won’t get off the steps!

Maybe I am a wimp, and I am okay with that. But never will I have the Lockness Monster (or Nessy, as Napoleon Dynamite would say) nibble at my toes.

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