People are constantly telling me I look young; like they are telling me a dirty little secret – I get it. Believe me.
I am sure it doesn’t help that I am only five feet tall with a very tiny frame and wear a small size.
I am used to getting carded at bars, liquor stores, bingo, for lottery tickets, walking through a casino and R-rated movies. If I smoked, I guarantee I would get carded for this too! My driver’s license, which may I add has a photo of me from when I was 18, get scrutinized beyond reasoning.
I have this little ID scanned on a regular basis – at the bar, at liquor stores; while the reviewer looks from photo to me, then back to photo – only to shake their head when they look at the birth date and run it through their scanner. I have even been held outside of bars for it to be called in – this is a real thing! They actually call the driver’s license authoritative counsel and read off the number so someone can search a database.
I am 26 years old.
A few days ago, a very intuitive gentleman at a liquor store that I don’t often frequent had a good laugh with me. I am generally a good sport about all of this, except when the same person habitually performs the rude act of carding me just to make a point – specifically a horrific bar tender at one of the bars I go to sometimes. She literally has run across the bar and pushed other bar tenders out-of-the-way to card me. She has also made me walk around a crowded bar to get my ID because someone was buying me a shot when I stopped to say hi. She also knows my boyfriend and his friends by name. Listen you wanna-be bitch, this has been going on for 5 years and I know one of the bar managers, get over yourself please. I digress – after he carded me (I was prepared!) he told me I should sell my secret to looking so young and that I could probably make a fortune off of it.
So the benefits? (this part is my favorite!)
When you get hit on at a bar – which even when single, I despise this. I have had friends who love nothing more than to be drooled on by some gross, stinky, horny stranger – absolutely not what I want in my night.
Gross drunk man: “Hey there (breathing on my face) let me buy you a drink (smirks like I am the luckiest girl in the world for his attention).”
Me: “I’m 17.” turns and walks away
Getting hit on at the gym.
Gross sweaty man: “Hey; you come here often? (while I am literally red faced and panting on level ten on the elliptical – not my first rodeo, bro.)Me: [no response]
Gross sweaty man: “Oh, not the chatty type?”
Me: “I’m just thinking about my high school graduation!”
I could choose something else other than having a baby face, but I have learned to use it to my advantage – and I wouldn’t trade it for a thing 🙂