I don’t know why I feel this way, but I feel like so many people are pregnant!
Not that this is a bad thing – babies are great if you want them – but it is almost like there is something in the water. And I drink a lot of water.
Not that I don’t ever want kids, but right now; NOT in the cards. I have plenty of opportunities to play with kids – my boyfriend has two nieces and a nephew – but after ten minutes its exhausting and you feel like the ringing in your ears is never going to go away. Sorry, mom; I feel bad for all of those invested years now.
I am definitely by no means a pessimist, but I do like to think of myself as a realist. What if, when I have a baby, something is wrong? Of course I will love the little thing like I have never loved anything before, but it scares me. Diabetes, mental disorders…it takes a seriously strong person to stand up to that and unconditionally be there and love their children.
Obviously; I am not ready.
And at least I can give myself that piece of mind, knowing that I am absolutely not ready to have children and care for them the way they need to be cared for. I want to be able to give them undivided attention and unconditional and non-selfish love. Not think about how badly I want an extra shot of espresso in a latte and to use lead-based paint (?? I don’t even know, but it could be an option.) Oh, and sushi?!?!
I don’t want to seem like a selfish brat right now, but I kind of am. I feel like I am right now standing at the gyno during my prime baby-making years screaming at a bunch of mothers-to-be: “NO BABIES!!!!!!!”
Shoulder tap me in a year and ask me if I’m ready, because I too am curious to see what my reaction will be.