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[sin-i-kuhl] adjective

1. like or characteristic of a cynic; distrusting or disparaging the motives of others.

2. showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one’s actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others.

3. bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

 – dictionary.com


I was told this weekend that being cynical is a reasonable way to approach situations; and this quote is coming directly from a source I met when I was 15. So while this made me feel better, I couldn’t help but think if there was a better way to approach the impending holiday season. Then I realized…I got nothing.

With a birthday smack dab in the middle of this “holiday season” and all of my loosely planned winter activities stripped from my calendar (which I should have figured would happen as he managed to ruin all of the autumn planned activities too), I can’t help but to feel bitter towards the world.

And as my aforementioned source also stated this weekend “I hate the world” (also with a holiday birthday and going through a similiar situation as me) I realized that he gets it.

There is always going to someone out there who gets it; we really are not alone. I get to go to sunny Florida for Christmas and sit on a white sand beach and collect shells (crossed this off my bucket list last year…and side note, I could have sworn I had a bucket list post which I now am unable to find – expect a follow up) while I leave all of my worries and cares up north.

I don’t know if I can end this post well, since I don’t know how it will end for me. I know I am happier now then I was a month ago and that I have surrounded myself with all kinds of good people. For now, it is time to keep my mind busy and shake it out of my head and just live on.