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Let’s start this off with: THIS IS MY 100TH POST!!!!!

But on to more pressing matters – I seriously am in dire need of my ordered iPhone 5 to arrive ASAP. I am typing this blog post while I am coloring in my iPhone 4 (not S) case with a Sharpie marker.

This is unacceptable.

Why do I even need to be coloring it in with a Sharpie, do you ask? Simple answer – I am a total jerk-off and have dropped this caveman of a phone about 12 times since the new one was ordered three weeks ago.

Three weeks.

The iPhone 4 only took two weeks to get…the iPhone 5 has a four to six-week delivery period…a delivery period in which I have proved myself to be an unfit phone owner.

I am not even upset about the lightning adapter I will need for my iHome (hopefully this will be an easy enough plug-in, because my arrival time at work is dependant on this iHome’s ability to allow the alarm clock to shrill loudly while silencing all other random sounds this computer-phone makes).

I would also be more than happy to post a photograph of my touch-up job, except I am not very good at getting said phone cover on and off of the phone – making this endeavor quite tedious…and usually resulting in a broken nail or two.

Even more of an issue I am facing that drives home the fact that I need this phantom iPhone 5 to come a bit quicker is my bubbled-up and scratched off screen protector. I really am a bit nervous that the screen may actually be scratched itsself. I also may just want to remove my awkwardly placed earrings that reside half-way up my ear lobes – but boyfriend will attest that this is a nearly impossible task.

I now proclaim to you – Apple Corporation – thank you for providing me with a piece of technology that I know how to 75% use to it’s ability and encouraging me to believe that the current computer in my hand may as well be obsolete. I am gladly buying in to your genius marketing plan!

Yours truly,

@jackieeatworld

P.S. After re-reading this post, I have concluded that I should just stick to the plain black rubber cover that was tossed aside for the pretty plastic cover that obviously chips every time it is dropped.

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