One of my biggest pet peeves is the gym. I like to go do my hour of cardio, read my book, play games on my phone and listen to my iPod. I don’t want to be bothered. I dress like a homeless person on purpose. Don’t look at my ass, or grunt in my direction. Don’t smile at me: you probably smell bad. If you see me talking to someone, it’s because I know them and I want to converse. Don’t hit on me while sweat is pouring from my body. I’m not attractive in this state.

The guys that pop pimples in the mirrors; put us normal people is normal folk out of our misery and stop. It’s gross. You’re gross. And for that matter, practice hygiene! Wash your damn face and don’t keep your gym clothes in your gym bag all week. Girls across the board are not by any means attracted to this at all.

Stop grunting. We look at you because you’re gross, but due to any type of attraction. So don’t smile and make eyes in our direction. I will puke in my mouth a little bit. I have many friends who go to my gym and workout like normal dudes in clean clothes and have bigger biceps than you. Yes, these people I speak to.

But at least the dudes are getting their swell on. Why would a girl spend money on a gym membership to sit against a wall! You can do that at home, for free. But they do wear clean clothes……and leave in clean clothes.

Today; two girls got on ellipticals for about five minutes. Got off. Stood next to them, talking about some guy. Got on the stair master for another five minutes. Got off. Spent another five mins cleaning aforementioned stair masters. Got on treadmills. Walked possibly a mile, retreated. Talked to each other and left. For twenty minutes they lasted.


iPhone 4S users, can someone please ask Siri for me?