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For those of you who live in the tri-state (Jersey, New York and Connecticut) or frequent New York City (known to us locals as “the city”) very well know, EWR is a necessary evil.

Now, this is kind of a harsh statement to make, as EWR – Newark Liberty International Airport (heretofore known as “Newark”) is actually a grand airport. I had the joy last night of visiting said airport to pick my parents up from their Florida vacation.

newark

Getting to Newark is very easy; Route 22 all the way to 1-9 with explicitly clear signs that a child or monkey could understand. They make is very easy to manuvere your way into the airport – not to mention the signs once you get in: three terminals, all clearly labels; with arrivals and departures on different levels.

If you are from out-of-state; this is actually probably an issue; because everyone double and triple parks – and we are very well known for our aggressive driving…which in a place like Newark, you have to be.

A typical, domestic flight – like yesterday’s pick-up – was conveniently at Terminal C. The arrivals at this terminal are usually downright insane. It is by far the busiest terminal, the largest and also most organized; making it a complete free-for-all with drop-offs and pick-ups. On any regular day, you can expect to get run down by a few cabs, almost hit someone jay walking with three suitcases and get chased away by the police for stopping.

I took a chance last night, as the flight I was on duty for landed at 9:30 and it was Sunday. There was still a line of cabs, but they were quietly in their lane. Not many flights were being emptied out in the ten minutes I was in the pick-up area; therefore not many people meandering about. No police officers were chasing people away from the curb for loitering. I found a car parked at the curb with no one in it; double parked them in and sat a spell, waiting for my parents to be taxied to the gate and let free. No checked bags so we were quickly on our merry way.

I have taken many, many flights in my life; and I would say at least 90% of them have originated (or final destination was) from Newark. As I mentioned earlier, Terminal C is where most of the domestic flights go in and out. Terminal C is also the bee’s knees.  Not only do they have a kick ass food court there; the security people are on their game to get you the hell out of their line as quickly as possible and you can find any and every item of candy you could ever imagine in the random smattering of stores and kiosks. The waiting areas are not too big, not too small and not too distracting. There are plenty of electrical outlets for your apple device needs; and the bathrooms are cleaned about every half hour.

So, are you from outside the tri-state area and have had a negative experience at Newark airport? I will tell you exactly why: we aren’t the friendliest bunch. This airport resides in New Jersey, and you out-of-staters love to hate us so much, we feed you your karma back. If you are standing in line at the bathroom with your luggage that will obviously not fit into the overhead compartment and day-dreaming the day away; the person behind you will either knock you down or push you when it is your turn for the stall. Keep moving.

Are you in your twenties or thirties and travel for work? Do you really still not know how you take your coffee? Sugar and milk, stir and walk away…the coffee stations are not for hanging out. They are for dumping some milk, grabbing a few sugars and a stirrer and moving on; you have a 45 second window of opportunity before your personal space is invaded. Sorry, it’s just how we roll here.

Even if we have all the time in the world, we are in a rush. I don’t think we know how to not be in a rush in an airport. And you are also on our territory. Get it together.

Any airport can be a stressful wonderland. Newark is its own special breed. Next time you need to visit the city or the tri-state area; just remember: Keep Calm and Stir Your Damn Coffee Faster.