Recently my circumstances have changed.
I was crying and whining for a few months about how badly I wanted to move out of my parents house and start my own “adult” life. My dad was starting to become really worried that he had not properly prepared me for this life and told me numerous times that I was going to get very taken aback at house expensive being an adult really is. I’m blessed, I know – I have always been grateful of my life situation. No college loans, living at home at 26 and spoiling myself rotten for the past 10 years (I always had a job of some sort, folks!)
I mean, my parents are great – they really are. There is just a huge part of me that is ready to take this leap of faith into the scary real world and get my life started. So we broke down the math…and not to be cruel, just to be realistic. To keep up my life (DVR, cereal, dinner dates and bar tabs) I would hardly be making a profit. Step in: annual review.
I have been at my job for a year (!) and wasn’t expecting anything astronomical to come from my review. “You are super organized, task-oriented with the ability to multi-task and always finish your work in a timely manner.” I knew that was coming, I’ve had reviews in the past and they are all generally the same (still always nice to hear someone say fantastic things about you!) But what came at the end of the review was quite a shock, really.
Dear Jackie: welcome to the real-world. (finally!!)
Welcome to a career with benefits, compensation and room to grow. Let me be guided towards the light of true adulthood and lavished with the virtue that comes from it. And maybe a pedicure and a latte.